I’d like to tell you about an IFS micro-intervention that I use in my practice with individuals, couples, and as a consultant with the IFS therapists that I work with. It’s called Mini-Pause Unblend and it was developed by IFS lead trainer, Cece Sykes. The Mini-Pause Unblend is a simple, straight-forward intervention that helps parts unblend. Cece introduced this skill to me in consultation in the summer of 2021 and I’ve been using it ever since.
In essence the Mini-Pause Unblend is a micro-witnessing skill that promotes Self-energy in the client, the IFS therapist, and the client-therapist connection. This intervention works beautifully with polarizations, in that it helps the client see individual parts one at a time as well as the way parts interact with each other. You can use this when a client is blended with one part or when a client is toggling back and forth between polarized parts. Here’s how it goes:
- “What you just said is so important. Can we pause together to notice what you just said.”
- Translation: What you (part of the client) just said is so important. Can we (Self of the therapist and Self of the client) pause together to notice (witness and be with) what you just said.
This pause introduces time and space for Self to witness what’s there, in that instant for the client. Parts don’t like to be pushed aside. Often clients (and we as therapists) argue with parts. In the Mini-Pause Unblend, the Self of the therapist stops to be fully present with and respectful of the part. Here’s the second part of the intervention:
- “When you pause, what do you notice?”
This second pause focuses more fully on the part. Since the therapist has stopped the conversation, the part doesn’t worry about a therapist agenda that differs from the part’s agenda. The connection between the Self of the client and the part of the client deepens and becomes a clear, enduring presence for the part. If we stack multiple micro-witnessing events, one on top of the other, this engenders trust in Self and the connection with Self. Repeated micro-witnessing allows the part to share the full range of their experience, history, hopes, fears, values, etc.. Moreover, it provides parts the experience of being heard, felt, understood, and valued for their protection of the entire system.
Self-energy is Contagious
It’s worth noting that all or many parts are listening to the conversation between the client and the therapist. Any part that hears the therapist’s invitation to stop and be witnessed experiences a connection to the Self of the client and the therapist. Self-energy begets Self-energy. Dick Schwartz points out that Self-energy is contagious. Over time, parts expect the therapist’s invitation to unblend and be witnessed, they trust the therapist increasingly, and Self-energy becomes an enduring presence in the therapist-client connection. As parts learn to trust Self and the therapist by means of this simple pause, they are more willing and able to take up other unblending skills like externalization, the Table Technique, etc.
The Mini-Pause Unblend as Fire Drill for the therapist
The Mini-Pause Unblend can serve as fire drill for the IFS therapist. When I pause with my client to notice their parts, I stop to notice my parts. I take a breath and tell my parts: “I hear you, I feel you, I see you.” Since I have practiced this hundreds of times, my parts feel me there with them, in that moment, and my Self-to-part connection is more consistent and reliable.
