This is an unblending exercise I learned from Mike Elkin in my level 2 IFS training in 2008.  My parts love this exercise.  My parts are visual and they love being able to show me what they look like and they love being seen at critical developmental thresholds. This exercise assumes that there is enough self-energy in the system for parts to swing out in front of the person.  I always state explicitly that the experience of a part swinging out in front is really a felt sense.   Some folks can do this, and some folks can’t.  Some people’s parts find this too much and they won’t participate in this exercise.  That’s fine.  We always start where the parts are and work from that place.  However, for therapists hoping to learn this skill, perhaps you might want to try this on your own a few times to see what it’s like and what works for you.  Listen to the video above and try to apply what I speak to in the video. 

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Overview

• The goal is to work with parts so they can swing out in front of the client
• Then look into the clients eyes
• Tell the client what they see
• If the part sees anything but the person at their current age, it’s likely another part
• Work with the different parts that may be present when the part looks into the client’s eyes
• NB: Much of the time parts are outward facing. The central focus on this exercise is to help the part make the U-Turn and look at the client so they can, at some point, see self.  Often parts see other parts when they look into our eyes.  

Begin by asking the target part would it be willing to try something.  Let the part know that you’re happy to describe the exercise first and the part can consider if it would like to try this.  If my client consents to this, I always ask if there are any parts that have concerns about trying this.  I go to great lengths to address these concerns at the outset and to connect these parts to self, to let these parts know that if they need to interrupt this exercise, they should. I always normalize their protective function by saying they know more than I do about my client’s internal system and I respect this.  Once we’ve addressed all parts concerns and they’re connected to self, I ask the part if it would be willing to swing out in front of the client and to turn and face the client.  

Nota Bene: Many people have outward facing parts.  It’s important to be explicit and ask if the part is looking at you, the client, or is the part outward facing and looking at me (the therapist).  If the part is outward facing, negotiate with the part to see if it will turn and look into the client’s eyes.  Address concerns if they have any, but if they don’t, ask the client gently to ask the part if it would be willing to look into their (the client’s) eyes.  Once the part is able to look into the client’s eyes you have multiple options.

1. Can the part trust you: Work to enhance part to self connection and critically, the degree to which the part can trust the client.  To do this, ask the part if it feels as if it can trust you.  Be very explicit here: We’re not asking the part to trust you, we’re asking if it feels as if it can trust you. If yes, go to step 2 or 3.  If no, ask what it’s concerned will happen if it trusts you.  The rest of the session could focus on simply asking this part to tell you more about why it can’t trust you.  Ask the client to tell the part repeatedly that they understand the part’s position and see if the part can tell you more.  Eventually have the client introduce to the part the prospect of change without the part’s worst case fear coming true: what if you could trust me (the client) and that worst case scenario didn’t come true.  Would you like to try this even for 10 seconds, 15 seconds, etc. 
2. If the part is able to trust the client, ask the part as it looks into the client’s eyes, and ask it what does it see.  If it sees anything but something like “I’m old, it sees me, it sees me as I am now,” then it’s a part.  I typically try to get to know that part a little and see if it would be willing to take a step out in front.  I use some variation of the following language, “Ask the part to swing out in front of you, so that you can see it.”  In my experience, parts appreciate this because they may not have the experience of being seen.  Once they swing out and they have a sense of the client being able to see them, ask the part if it would be willing to turn around so that it can see you.  Some parts will do this easily, others will not.  The therapist will have to address the concerns of the parts that will not. Once the part is able to turn and see us, we can ask the following questions 

• When it looks at you, how old does it think you are? If it says anything but the person’s current age, I ask that part to swing out so we can work it.  
• What does it see.  If is sees anything but the person at their current age, it’s likely another part.  Maybe it says “I look sad, angry, confused, lost, a hard worker, etc.”  Those are all likely parts.  Ask them if they can turn and look at the client or if they can swing out to one side.  
• You can end up with many parts unblending and swinging out in front, at which point I move to the Table Technique (George Fraser, McMasters University—Toronto 1979, revised 1999) see below.